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Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
COMPENSATION
"Speakin' of de law of compensation," said Uncle Eben, "an automobile goes faster dan a mule, but at de same time it hits harder and balks longer."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A friend once wrote Mark Twain a letter saying that he was in very bad health, and concluding: "Is there anything worse than having toothache and earache at the same time?"
The humorist wrote back: "Yes, rheumatism and Saint Vitus's dance."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Подозреваю, что вам нравится литература?) А загляните на наш канал с редкими и популярными фильмами про писателей, художников, музыкантов, и других талантов.
Здесь вас ждут уникальные и захватывающие ленты из разных стран и эпох, которые не только известны, но и те что не показывают по ТВ и не выходят в кино.
Подпишитесь сейчас /channel/+R3dmb5c9hY4wMzJi и начните своё незабываемое путешествие по миру литературы и искусства. Жмите на ссылку и присоединяйтесь!
По статистике, 83% родителей никуда не ходят со своим ребёнком.
Большинство современных детей словно брошены на произвол судьбы: целыми днями смотрят тиктоки, а вместо живого общения пользуются соцсетями и интернетом.
Если вы не хотите, чтобы ваш ребёнок вырос закрытым и превратился в цифрового зомби, возьмите на заметку эти каналы:
🌇 Москва для детей
🏙 Питер для детей
Тут находят способы круто провести время с детьми в Москве и Питере, от которых ваш малыш будет в восторге: игровые центры, детские кафе и бесплатные развлечения для семей. Пользуйтесь.
Считаете себя культурным человеком? А вы знаете:
• Почему нельзя говорить «приятного аппетита» и «будь здоров»?
• Когда можно переходить на «ты»?
• Что делать, если забыл как зовут собеседника?
Забудьте про 10 видов вилок — на канале «Где твои манеры» вам расскажут, всё о том, как вести себя культурно: от праздничного стола и свидания до переписки в Сети.
Подпишись, потому что культурными людьми не рождаются, ими становятся: @etiketmaneri
Есть мнение, что почти все российские банки делают своим друзьям и родственникам «блатные» опции — выдают беспроцентные кредиты, обнуляют все возможные комиссии и подключают им завышенные кэшбэки к банковским картам.
Так вот выяснилось, что по закону такие нулевые тарифы и беспроцентные кредиты банки обязаны предоставлять и остальным клиентам.
Однако на сайтах эти тарифы не размещаются, и чтобы их получить, нужно либо перечитывать регламенты, либо вручную искать служебные ссылки. Так что если вы не "особый" клиент и связей в банках у вас нету — подпишитесь на Беспощадного Банкстера. Там пишут о спецтарифах банков — вечно бесплатные карты, служебные тарифы с повышенным кэшбэком, промо-вклады с доходом в 14% годовых и маркетинговые кредиты под 0%, которые никогда не попадают на витрину.
Подпишитесь всего 1 раз — и до конца жизни сможете законно брать кредиты под 0%, навсегда уберёте с карт все списания и комиссии, поставите себе 10-процентный кэшбэк НА ВСЁ. Вот канал — @bezposhady
A nervous commuter on his dark, lonely way home from the railroad station heard footsteps behind him. He had an uncomfortable feeling that he was being followed. He increased his speed. The footsteps quickened accordingly. The commuter darted down a lane. The footsteps still pursued him. In desperation he vaulted over a fence and, rushing into a churchyard, threw himself panting on one of the graves.
"If he follows me here," he thought fearfully, "there can be no doubt as to his intentions."
The man behind was following. He could hear him scrambling over the fence. Visions of highwaymen, maniacs, garroters and the like flashed through his brain. Quivering with fear, the nervous one arose and faced his pursuer.
"What do you want?" he demanded. "Wh-why are you following me?"
"Say," asked the stranger, mopping his brow, "do you always go home like this? I'm going up to Mr. Brown's and the man at the station told me to follow you, as you lived next door. Excuse my asking you, but is there much more to do before we get there?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"I see you carrying home a new kind of breakfast food," remarked the first commuter.
"Yes," said the second commuter, "I was missing too many trains. The old brand required three seconds to prepare. You can fix this new brand in a second and a half."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMMON SENSE
A mysterious building had been erected on the outskirts of a small town. It was shrouded in mystery. All that was known about it was that it was a chemical laboratory. An old farmer, driving past the place after work had been started, and seeing a man in the doorway, called to him:
"What be ye doin' in this place?"
"We are searching for a universal solvent—something that will dissolve all things," said the chemist.
"What good will thet be?"
"Imagine, sir! It will dissolve all things. If we want a solution of iron, glass, gold—anything, all that we have to do is to drop it in this solution."
"Fine," said the farmer, "fine! What be ye goin' to keep it in?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Горько признавать, но согласно опросам, 97% людей не знают, почему площадь назвали Красной
Большинство даже не догадывается, кто и зачем закопал Москву на 18 метров и не знают, что Чистые пруды раньше были помойкой и назывались Погаными
Достаточно узнать пару интересных фактов про столицу — и вы уже будете умнее 90% людей. А поможет с этим — Московская Хроника.
Авторы буквально погрузят читателей в тайны великого города, откроют все секреты любимых мест (от которых кровь стынет в жилах) и устроят прогулку по культовым местам всех времен
Подписывайтесь: /channel/+1At3iNE224I5MWZi
A young Irishman at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows:
"Dear Uncle.—If you could see how I blush for shame while I am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die. I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer. Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and affectionate nephew.
"P.S.—Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger in order to take the letter from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost."
The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows:
"My Dear Jack—Console yourself and blush no more. Providence has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your affectionate uncle."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Why did you come to college, anyway? You are not studying," said the Professor.
"Well," said Willie, "I don't know exactly myself. Mother says it is to fit me for the Presidency; Uncle Bill, to sow my wild oats; Sis, to get a chum for her to marry, and Pa, to bankrupt the family."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
STUDE.—"Is it possible to confide a secret to you?"
FRIEND—"Certainly. I will be as silent as the grave."
STUDE—"Well, then, I have a pressing need for two bucks."
FRIEND—"Do not worry. It is as if I had heard nothing."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Волшебный концертный коллектив AltrO_Duo&Co поздравляет всех ценителей классической музыки с наступающим Новым 2024 Годом и приглашает посетить свой уютный телеграм-канал.
Там мы делимся новостями своих проектов, историями из жизни великих композиторов, приглашаем посетить интереснейшие мероприятия и просто дарим всем чудесное настроение 🤗
Welcome!
/channel/AltrO_Duo_and_Co
Концерт с историей каждый третий вторник месяца в московской библиотеке №6 им. В.В. Вересаева
Тематические выступления и показы
И многое многое интересное!
When Rutherford B. Hayes was a student at college it was his custom to take a walk before breakfast.
One morning two of his student friends went with him. After walking a short distance they met an old man with a long white beard. Thinking that they would have a little fun at the old man's expense, the first one bowed to him very gracefully and said: "Good morning, Father Abraham."
The next one made a low bow and said: "Good morning, Father Isaac."
Young Hayes then made his bow and said: "Good morning Father Jacob."
The old man looked at them a moment and then said: "Young men, I am neither Abraham, Isaac nor Jacob. I am Saul, the son of Kish, and I am out looking for my father's asses, and lo, I have found them."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Is it possible your pragmatical worship should not know that the comparisons made between wit and wit, courage and courage, beauty and beauty, birth and birth, are always odious and ill taken?
"Girls make me tired," said the fresh young man. "They are always going to palmists to have their hands read."
"Indeed!" said she sweetly; "is that any worse than men going into saloons to get their noses red?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Darling," whispered the ardent suitor, "I lay my fortune at your feet."
"Your fortune?" she replied in surprise. "I didn't know you had one."
"Well, it isn't much of a fortune, but it will look large besides those tiny feet."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A well-known author tells of an English spinster who said, as she watched a great actress writhing about the floor as Cleopatra:
"How different from the home life of our late dear queen!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The Rev. Dr. William Emerson, of Boston, son of Ralph Waldo Emerson, recently made a trip through the South, and one Sunday attended a meeting in a colored church. The preacher was a white man, however, a white man whose first name was George, and evidently a prime favorite with the colored brethren. When the service was over Dr. Emerson walked home behind two members of the congregation, and overheard this conversation: "Massa George am a mos' pow'ful preacher." "He am dat." "He's mos's pow'ful as Abraham Lincoln." "Huh! He's mo' pow'ful dan Lincoln." "He's mos' 's pow'ful as George Washin'ton." "Huh! He's mo' pow'ful dan Washin'ton." "Massa George ain't quite as pow'ful as God." "N-n-o, not quite. But he's a young man yet."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMPARISONS
A milliner endeavored to sell to a colored woman one of the last season's hats at a very moderate price. It was a big white picture-hat.
"Law, no, honey!" exclaimed the woman. "I could nevah wear that. I'd look jes' like a blueberry in a pan of milk."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A suburban train was slowly working its way through one of the blizzards of 1894. Finally it came to a dead stop and all efforts to start it again were futile.
In the wee, small hours of the morning a weary commuter, numb from the cold and the cramped position in which he had tried to sleep, crawled out of the train and floundered through the heavy snow-drifts to the nearest telegraph station. This is the message he handed to the operator:
"Will not be at office to-day. Not home yesterday yet."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
COMMUTERS
BRIGGS—"Is it true that you have broken off your engagement to that girl who lives in the suburbs?"
GRIGGS—"Yes; they raised the commutation rates on me and I have transferred to a town girl."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The president of the university had dark circles under his eyes. His cheek was pallid; his lips were trembling; he wore a hunted expression.
"You look ill," said his wife. "What is wrong, dear?"
"Nothing much," he replied. "But—I—I had a fearful dream last night, and I feel this morning as if I—as if I—" It was evident that his nervous system was shattered.
"What was the dream?" asked his wife.
"I—I—dreamed the trustees required that—that I should—that I should pass the freshman examination for—admission!" sighed the president.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
It was Commencement Day at a well-known woman's college, and the father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation exercises. He was presented to the president, who said, "I congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate family."
"Large and affectionate?" he stammered and looking very much surprised.
"Yes, indeed," said the president. "No less than twelve of your daughter's brothers have called frequently during the winter to take her driving and sleighing, while your eldest son escorted her to the theater at least twice a week. Unusually nice brothers they are."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
🌟 Встречайте! Канал "Мы, наш дом и реальность"!
🧠Это канал, где обсуждается повседневная жизнь через призму человеческой природы и психологии.
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🔍 Ключевые темы: Наука и прогресс, культура и общество, литература и кинематограф. И все то, что формирует нас и нашу реальность!
🤝 Автор канала стремится к созданию конструктивной и информативной среды, исключая дезинформацию и негативные эмоциональные выбросы.
🌍 Главная цель и миссия канала – собрать и объединить в одном месте прогрессивных и здоровых людей, которые стремятся понять себя, других людей и этот мир.
🙂 Человек есть мера всех вещей — /channel/We_our_home_and_reality
⚡Сегодня в России официально заработала программа по развитию внутреннего туризма
В рамках неё цены на авиа и
ж/д билеты будут снижены на 70%, а проживание в государственных отелях и санаториях будет полностью бесплатным.
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Подпишитесь и откройте Россию с новой стороны - @russia_voyage
The president of an eastern university had just announced in chapel that the freshman class was the largest enrolled in the history of the institution. Immediately he followed the announcement by reading the text for the morning: "Lord, how are they increased that trouble me!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A western college boy amused himself by writing stories and giving them to papers for nothing. His father objected and wrote to the boy that he was wasting his time. In answer the college lad wrote:
"So, dad, you think I am wasting my time in writing for the local papers and cite Johnson's saying that the man who writes, except for money, is a fool. I shall act upon Doctor Johnson's suggestion and write for money. Send me fifty dollars."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
STUDE—"Do you smoke, professor?"
PROF.—"Why, yes, I'm very fond of a good cigar."
STUDE—"Do you drink, sir?"
PROF.—"Yes, indeed, I enjoy nothing better than a bottle of wine."
STUDE—"Gee, it's going to cost me something to pass this course."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы