14461
Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале . Реклама @neznayca или по ссылке telega.in/c/one_story
Карл Густав Юнг теперь в Telegram!
Мысли одного из самых
цитируемых психологов
Подписаться:
t.me/CarlGustavJung_tg
A young Englishman came to Washington and devoted his days and nights to an earnest endeavor to drink all the Scotch whiskey there was. He couldn't do it, and presently went to a doctor, complaining of a disordered stomach.
"Quit drinking!" ordered the doctor.
"But, my dear sir, I cawn't. I get so thirsty."
"Well," said the doctor, "whenever you are thirsty eat an apple instead of taking a drink."
The Englishman paid his fee and left. He met a friend to whom he told his experience.
"Bally rot!" he protested. "Fawncy eating forty apples a day!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram!
Покупать билет не нужно:
t.me/Płótno_tg
We all know the troubles of a dramatist are many and varied.
Here's an advertisement taken from a morning paper that shows to what a pass a genius may come in a great city:
"Wanted—A collaborator, by a young playwright. The play is already written; collaborator to furnish board and bed until play is produced."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram!
Покупать билет не нужно:
t.me/Nothing_Book_tg
Так как я никуда не могу поехать и даже почти не выхожу из дома, то все мои интересы, конечно, перекочевали в виртуальные миры. Который я, кстати, сам себе и придумываю.
Зарылся в нейросети. И вот уже у меня выходит третий клип в ютубе. Посмотрите, когда станет скучно. Лайк и подписка, конечно, а комментарий по желанию:
Киберпанк: youtu.be/655urDmfPTE?si=2GEn327GBQQfzkiQ
Космический Futurism: youtu.be/FGS3de-f_Zk?si=oXLyyty-6g9dl3y1
Стимпанк: youtu.be/fUH4TAoM-rs?si=COfxleuctfZDq-nx
Приятного просмотра!
DRAMATIC CRITICISM
Theodore Dreiser, the novelist, was talking about criticism.
"I like pointed criticism," he said, "criticism such as I heard in the lobby of a theater the other night at the end of the play."
"The critic was an old gentleman. His criticism, which was for his wife's ears alone, consisted of these words:
"'Well, you would come!'"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Это лучший формат подготовки к выходу в театр
Наша дружеская рекомендация - проект "Свидание с оперой" музыковеда Екатерины Муковозчик.
У Кати есть авторские лекции в записи по 28 (!) операм.
"Никогда ещё опера не была такой близкой и понятной, не воспринималась так глубоко и полно, как после Катиной лекции"
The young man in the third row of seats looked bored. He wasn't having a good time. He cared nothing for the Shakespearean drama.
"What's the greatest play you ever saw?" the young woman asked, observing his abstraction.
Instantly he brightened.
"Tinker touching a man out between second and third and getting the ball over to Chance in time to nab the runner to first!" he said.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOMESTIC FINANCE
"Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist himself."
"As to how?"
"Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out yet."—Washington Herald.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The more one sees of men the more one likes dogs.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
William J. Stevens, for several years local station agent at Swansea, R. I., was peacefully promenading his platform one morning when a rash dog ventured to snap at one of William's plump legs. Stevens promptly kicked the animal halfway across the tracks, and was immediately confronted by the owner, who demanded an explanation in language more forcible than courteous.
"Why," said Stevens when the other paused for breath, "your dog's mad."
"Mad! Mad! You double-dyed blankety-blank fool, he ain't mad!"
"Oh, ain't he?" cut in Stevens. "Gosh! I should be if any one kicked me like that!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOGS
FAIR VISITOR—"Why are you giving Fido's teeth such a thorough brushing?"
FOND MISTRESS—"Oh! The poor darling's just bitten some horrid person, and, really, you know, one can't be too careful."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
«Нуу… Типа два голых мужика дерутся. Красиво, наверное…»
Примерно так 95% людей ведут себя, когда ходят по музею или просто смотрят на картины.
Чтобы не чувствовать себя неловко в культурном обществе, подписывайтесь на ARTерию.
Это ваша карманная галерея, только с объяснениями смысла картин. Вы научитесь обсуждать шедевры так, будто писали их сами.
Блесните интеллектом в компании друзей. Подписывайтесь: @arteriart
If you are invited to drink at any man's house more than you think is wholesome, you may say "you wish you could, but so little makes you both drunk and sick; that you should only be bad company by doing so."— Lord Chesterfield.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The Frenchman loves his native wine;
The German loves his beer;
The Englishman loves his 'alf and 'alf,
Because it brings good cheer;
The Irishman loves his "whiskey straight,"
Because it gives him dizziness;
The American has no choice at all,
So he drinks the whole blamed business.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DRESSMAKERS
WIFE—"Wretch! Show me that letter."
HUSBAND—"What letter?"
WIFE—"That one in your hand. It's from a woman, I can see by the writing, and you turned pale when you saw it."
HUSBAND—"Yes. Here it is. It's your dressmaker's bill."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"So you think the author of this play will live, do you?" remarked the tourist.
"Yes," replied the manager of the Frozen Dog Opera House. "He's got a five-mile start and I don't think the boys kin ketch him."—Life.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DRAMATISTS
"I hear Scribbler finally got one of his plays on the boards."
"Yes, the property man tore up his manuscript and used it in the snow storm scene."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Nat Goodwin, the American comedian, when at the Shaftesbury Theatre, London, told of an experience he once had with a juvenile deadhead in a town in America. Standing outside the theater a little time before the performance was due to begin he observed a small boy with an anxious, forlorn look on his face and a weedy-looking pup in his arms.
Goodwin inquired what was the matter, and was told that the boy wished to sell the dog so as to raise the price of a seat in the gallery. The actor suspected at once a dodge to secure a pass on the "sympathy racket," but allowing himself to be taken in he gave the boy a pass. The dog was deposited in a safe place and the boy was able to watch Goodwin as the Gilded Fool from a good seat in the gallery. Next day Goodwin saw the boy again near the theater, so he asked:
"Well, sonny, how did you like the show?"
"I'm glad I didn't sell my dog," was the reply.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
I think I love and reverence all arts equally, only putting my own just above the others.... To me it seems as if when God conceived the world, that was Poetry; He formed it, and that was Sculpture; He colored it, and that was Painting; He peopled it with living beings, and that was the grand, divine, eternal Drama.—Charlotte Cushman.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
LARRY—"I like Professor Whatishisname in Shakespeare. He brings things home to you that you never saw before."
HARRY—"Huh! I've got a laundryman as good as that."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DRAMA
The average modern play calls in the first act for all our faith, in the second for all our hope, and in the last for all our charity.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she had finished her story she said:
"Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your dear mamma?"
"Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly.
"But why not?"
"Ain't we got a good house to live in?"
"Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know."
"Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?"
"Yes, but that won't last forever."
"It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good looker, ma!"
Mamma gave up right there.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
❓Бывает, что возникает непростая правовая ситуация по уголовному или гражданскому делу, а вопрос задать некому
Меня зовут Эльдар Сулейманов, я адвокат с 2002 года, два года работал в прокуратуре района помощником прокурора по общему надзору
Здесь вы всегда найдете профессиональную защиту в вашей сложной ситуации и обретете спокойствие и безопасность
❗️Конфиденциально, адвокатская тайна — о вас никто ничего личного не узнает, если вы того захотите
❗️В основном, я занимаюсь уголовными делами, а за 20 лет практики накопился значительный опыт и по другим делам
Пишите свои вопросы, чтобы получить консультацию
✅ Легко получить ответ — @EldarSuleymanov
Все задачи решаемы; если выхода не видно, значит нужно еще поискать.
☑️ Помогу в:
Онлайн консультация;
Очная консультация;
Ознакомление с материалами дела ;
Выезд к следователю, в СИЗО, в суд;
Ведение любого дела ;
⭕️В канале вы можете найти отзывы о моей работе, пожалуйста, заходите, задавайте вопросы и подписывайтесь - /channel/moiadvokat
One would have it that a collie is the most sagacious of dogs, while the other stood up for the setter.
"I once owned a setter," declared the latter, "which was very intelligent. I had him on the street one day, and he acted so queerly about a certain man we met that I asked the man his name, and—"
"Oh, that's an old story!" the collie's advocate broke in sneeringly. "The man's name was Partridge, of course, and because of that the dog came to a set. Ho, ho! Come again!"
"You're mistaken," rejoined the other suavely. "The dog didn't come quite to a set, though almost. As a matter of fact, the man's name was Quayle, and the dog hesitated on account of the spelling!"—P. R. Benson.
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
"Do you know that that bulldog of yours killed my wife's little harmless, affectionate poodle?"
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"Would you be offended if I was to present him with a nice brass collar?"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A family moved from the city to a suburban locality and were told that they should get a watchdog to guard the premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a neighboring dog fancier, who was a German. Shortly afterward the house was entered by burglars who made a good haul, while the big dog slept. The man went to the dog fancier and told him about it.
"Veil, vat you need now," said the dog merchant, "is a leedle dog to vake up the big dog."
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
DOGS
LADY (to tramp who had been commissioned to find her lost poodle)—"The poor little darling, where did you find him?"
TRAMP—"Oh, a man 'ad 'im, miss, tied to a pole, and was cleaning the windows wiv 'im!"
🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы