motivational | Personal Development

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How to Stop Taking Things Personally 🌟

Ever wondered why some people seem unaffected by criticism while others get deeply hurt?

🙋 What does it mean to take things personally?

When we take things personally, we internalize negative comments or actions, feeling like they attack our identity. For example, if someone says "It's not you, it's me" during a breakup, we might think, "What did I do wrong?" Instead of seeing the real issue, we blame ourselves.

🤔 Why do narcissists take everything personally?

Narcissists can't separate their actions from their identity. If you criticize a narcissist for being drunk, they don't see the problem as their drinking but as a personal attack. They play the victim and never change their behavior.

💡 How can we stop taking things personally?

1. See through others' eyes: Practice empathy. Try to understand what specific behavior or words might be bothering the other person.
2. Separate identity from behavior: If you fail an interview, don't think, "I'm a failure." Instead, consider, "I need to improve my skills."

🛠 What's the actionable step?

Whenever you feel attacked, ask yourself:
- What behavior is being criticized?
- How can I improve that specific action?

🎯 Examples to practice

- Feedback on work: If your boss says your report needs improvement, focus on the report, not on your abilities as a person.
- Relationship issues: If someone says you're not attentive, think about specific ways to show more attention, rather than feeling inadequate.

By focusing on behaviors and not internalizing criticism, you can improve relationships and self-esteem. It’s all about shifting your perspective and taking constructive action.

Remember, the key is to understand that criticism is often about specific actions, not about you as a person. Practice empathy, focus on behaviors, and take actionable steps to improve.

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Be realistic: Plan for a miracle.

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1. Never stop learning: Like Leonardo da Vinci, who never ceased exploring from art to science, proving that perpetual curiosity can redefine the world.
2. See failure as a beginning: Like Thomas Edison’s numerous failed attempts before perfecting the light bulb, demonstrating that each failure lights the path to success.
3. Teach others what you know: As Socrates taught Plato, sharing wisdom plants the seeds for future generations to flourish.
4. Assume nothing, question everything: Galileo challenged the geocentric model, a stance that invited scrutiny but ultimately revolutionized astronomy.
5. Analyze objectively: Like Marie Curie’s meticulous experiments with radioactivity, which led to groundbreaking discoveries by avoiding assumptions.
6. Practice humility: Abraham Lincoln’s openness to listen to differing opinions, showing that true strength lies in recognizing one’s limitations.
7. Respect constructive criticism: When Winston Churchill accepted feedback during WWII, his adaptability became a cornerstone of his leadership.
8. Love what you do: Michelangelo’s passion for sculpting turned blocks of marble into eternal masterpieces, exemplifying joy in one's work.
9. Give credit where it's due: Like Henry Ford, who recognized his employees’ efforts, fostering loyalty and innovation in his company.
10. Take initiative: Rosa Parks’ decision to remain seated sparked a movement, proving that change begins with individual courage.

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🌟 Ever wondered why meditation seems so hard?
Most people struggle because they try a one-size-fits-all approach. Let’s dive into some techniques tailored just for you!

🎯 Why doesn't traditional meditation work for everyone?
Each of us has a unique cognitive fingerprint. Just like we have different tastes in food or hobbies, we have different meditation needs. Imagine someone trying to meditate using a technique that doesn't fit their cognitive style. No wonder they give up!

🔥 Feeling anxious or panicky?
Try Kapalbhati or Nadi Shuddhi. These breathing techniques help calm your mind by activating your vagus nerve, reducing stress hormones. Think of it as a way to physiologically chill out!

❄️ Lacking energy or feeling sluggish?
Check out Tummo. This technique from the Himalayas can literally warm you up and energize you. Monks in Nepal use it to stay warm in freezing temperatures. It’s a game-changer for boosting your inner fire!

🧘 Struggling with ego and self-criticism?
Shunya meditation is your go-to. This practice helps dissolve the ego, making you feel neutral and more at peace with yourself. It’s like hitting the reset button on your identity.

💤 Need to implant positive thoughts?
Try Yoga Nidra. This relaxation practice puts your mind in a suggestive state, allowing you to implant positive resolves. It's not just about relaxation; it’s about changing your subconscious mind for the better.

Remember, the right meditation technique can make all the difference. Don’t give up if one method doesn’t work. There’s a perfect fit for everyone.

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🤔 Ever wonder how monks break bad habits so effectively?

📱 Why can't I stop checking my phone first thing in the morning?
When we wake up, it's so tempting to grab our phones and dive into social media or emails. This habit feels automatic, right? The problem is, we often try to use willpower to break these habits, but willpower alone isn't enough. It runs out, and we're back to our old ways.

💡 So, what’s the secret trick monks use to break bad habits?
Monks have a fascinating approach. They don't rely on willpower alone. Instead, they cultivate awareness. A habit is an unconscious behavior, but when we perform it with full awareness, it stops being a habit. This shifts the behavior from the habit circuitry in our brains to the conscious control of our frontal lobes.

🧘 How does awareness work to break habits?
Imagine you're addicted to potato chips. Instead of resisting the craving, monks suggest you give in to it, but with full awareness. Notice every sensation: the craving, the taste, and how you feel after eating. This conscious engagement with the habit weakens its automatic nature.

🧠 What's happening in our brain when we use awareness?
Habits are reinforced by dopamine, but over time, they switch to the endocannabinoid system, making them automatic. By bringing awareness to these actions, we strengthen the connection between our frontal lobe and the habit circuitry. This makes it easier to control our habits without relying on willpower.

🍰 What if I fail and give in to my craving?
It's okay! The goal is not to resist perfectly but to be aware. Each time you engage in the habit with awareness, you're chipping away at its automatic nature. Over time, you’ll find it easier to control your behavior with less effort.

🗝 Why is this method so effective?
Monks aren’t naturally more disciplined. They use a methodology that makes them hyper-aware of their actions. This method works for everyone, from monks in a monastery to anyone struggling with daily habits.

🌟 Start small and stay aware!
Next time you reach for your phone or crave a snack, pause and be aware of your actions. Notice the urge, the sensation, and the outcome. With time, you'll find yourself gaining more control over your habits with less effort.

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What is something that you used to strongly believe but now you no longer believe to be true. Comment below 👇

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At twenty, you don’t get the life you deserve, you are just the product of the environment you were lucky or unlucky to have.

Then, as you get older, and enter your thirties, forties, and beyond, you notice how much agency you actually had on your life.

Maybe you moved abroad, learned another language, another culture, another mindset, and became an entirely different person.

Maybe you decided you had nothing to lose, and invested all your meager savings into the bet of a lifetime, and it worked out.

Maybe you changed all your habits, and realized that you could be much healthier, smarter, stronger than you thought, if you simply maintain a better diet, a better training, a better sleep, a better routine.

Maybe you fell in love, and realized that a great marriage was about so much more than physical attraction and intellectual compatibility: if you find yourself walking alongside with a kind, thoughtful, honest person who loves you back, you actually won the lottery.

Maybe you met some great people during your journey, shared with them parts of your journey, overcame difficult challenges together, finally understood the real meaning of “friendship,” and that some people are worth trusting and making sacrifices for.

Maybe you also had health issues, lost a few precious people that you loved, understood the fragility of life and the pain that comes with truly loving someone else, but also finally gained enough wisdom to appreciate the simple things in life, that are free and in abundance.

It’s a long journey. The best and the worst things will happen to you. You can choose to act like a victim, or you can choose to respect yourself and be more resilient, mentally stronger, overall better. In the end, you will look back, you will connect the dots, and it will all make sense, that you got exactly what you deserved.

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