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Better People
Mother Teresa of Calcutta was often quoted as saying: "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." Over the years I have found myself often feeling the same way. I have had a blessed life, but it has never been an easy one. In my 26 years I have had to deal with sickness, injuries, accidents, and pain. I have had to deal with years of betrayal. I have had to deal with my brother's, the death of loved ones, and being separated from those I love. I have had to deal with anger, lies, confusion, depression and at times even despair.
Like so many before me I have asked the question: Why do bad things happen to good people? It is a question that has been asked throughout the ages. Books have even been written about it. It is a question that will never be answered completely this side of Heaven. Yet, looking back on my own life now I have to believe that at least part of the reason bad things happen to good people is to make them better people.
When I remember all that I have faced and gone through in this life, I realize that God has used all of it to eventually make me better. With pain came empathy. With grief came healing. With frustration came patience. With struggles came strength. With sorrow came joy. With depression came compassion. With anger came love. And with despair came trust in God. Every test, challenge, and tragedy eventually led me to greater goodness, greater love, and greater Oneness with our Heavenly Father.
None of us likes the negative experiences in life. None of us enjoys pain. None of us wants to go through sorrow. Still, the truth is that "God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him." May each day here then help you to grow better and more loving.
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God Loves You Unconditionally
When I was a little girl I never liked going to church that much. I enjoyed the Sunday potluck dinners we sometimes had after it. They were a feast of country cooking. I enjoyed the Sunday school classes too. I got to see my friends there. It was the church services themselves that I couldn't relate too. They were full of symbolism and rituals that my young mind couldn't yet understand. The sermons and Bible readings were largely tuned out by me too. It was struggle enough just keeping my little body still in the hard, wooden pews. I longed to be outside playing in the sunshine. I would look around at the people dressed in their Sunday best while I tugged at my own tie. Then I'd glance at my watch and wonder when it would end.
It was during one of those sermons, however, that I did hear something that would stick in my heart, soul, and mind from that day forward. It was the middle of Summer and the heat made me feel even more restless than usual. I was looking down at my dress shoes and dangling my feet from the pew while the sermon went on and on. Suddenly, the Priest's voice rose and got very loud as he finished. "Remember this!," he said as I raised my head. "If you don't remember anything else I have said. Remember this. You are loved! You are loved unconditionally by a greater love than you can ever imagine! God loves you, now and forever!"
Those words of wisdom found a place deep inside of me. I did find myself remembering them over and over again in my life. As I learned, grew, struggled, and stumbled those words stayed in my heart. They helped me to rise up and try again every time I fell. They helped me to find my own love for God, for myself, and for others. They became a central part of who I am and what I write. The one gift I hope to give all of you is this truth. May you always remember then that "You are loved!" May you always know that "God loves you, now and forever!"
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The Essential Stuff In Life
When Spring cleaning season arrived this year I decided that it was time to get rid of more than just a Winter's worth of dust and dirt. I decided that it was the time to get rid of years worth of accumulated stuff as well. This stuff was lining my walls, filling my selves, and crowding my closets.
This stuff was cluttering my home and my mind and not bringing me one bit of happiness. I couldn't even remember how I got some of it, but I knew I wanted it gone.
It turned out to be an even bigger job than I thought. Twenty year old bills and receipts were tossed in the trash. File cabinets were cleaned of papers that were no longer necessary or needed. Broken bowls, dented pans, and cracked knickknacks were finally thrown away. Unworn clothes were hauled out of the closet and bagged up to be given away to the local Goodwill. Old books were boxed up to be passed on for others to read and enjoy.
It took several days to get it all done,but in the end I was able to walk through a home that seemed a little less cluttered. My heart was a lot lighter too. It felt so good to be able to get rid of all the junk and to just focus on the essential stuff in life again.
What is the essential stuff? What is the stuff that brings meaning to our days? A loving heart is essential. A joyful spirit is essential. A soul full of goodness and God is essential. And a lifefull of sharing all of these things is absolutely essential. The essential stuff can't be bought, sold, or stored. It can only be chosen, created, and given away. The essential stuff is the stuff we all really want. It is the stuff we all really need.
It is the stuff that our Loving Creator wants us to have. This stuff is called the treasures of Heaven but the truth is you can have it even while you are here on Earth. And the more you share this stuff with others the more you find it filling your home and warming your heart.
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A Choice of Kindness
It was a beautiful, sunny, Spring day. I had just finished driving my daughter to the airport to catch an early morning flight. My sons and I then went to a fast food place for breakfast before heading back home. After eating we all got into the car and pulled out of the parking lot. The restaurant was at the very top of a hill. At the bottom of the hill was a stop sign so we found ourselves at the end of a long line of traffic waiting while the cars at the bottom turned onto the main road one at a time.
As I looked down to the bottom of the hill my eyes saw an elderly man standing by the stop sign. His clothes were old and worn. He held a cardboard sign with the words: Need Help Please! written on it. My heart went out to him and I imagined myself in his situation. As car after car turned onto the road without stopping for him, I reached for my wallet to look for whatever cash was left in it. As I was pulling it out of my pocket, though, I saw a young woman walk up to him along the side of the road. She was carrying a bag full of take out food from the restaurant I was just at. I watched as the old man thanked the young girl and smiled as she reached in to give him a hug.
Suddenly a loud HONK! from the car behind me made me realize that I hadn't been moving forward, because this simple choice for kindness had so captured my attention and my heart. By the time I reached the bottom of the hill both the man and lady who had helped him were gone. Yet, as I drove home the sun seemed to shine even brighter and Heaven felt a bit closer to Earth.
A choice is such a powerful thing. It can touch a heart and change a life. It can bring us closer to God and make Heaven smile. Each day we are given a thousand choices. May you make all of yours for kindness. May you make your whole life a choice for love, joy, and God.
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If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand dreams before
In my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentin!
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To My Friend, lover and Partner
on valentine's day
On valentine's day I'm thinking of all the things you are
that make life more interesting
and exciting and blessed
so much better in every way than it would be without you
You're my friend
You support me, encourage me
bring out the best in me
I trust you and
feel completely safe with you.
so I can share with you my hopes
my dreams
even secrets I've never told anyone else
You've created a refuge for me to come to,
when I need to escape from the hard edges of life
You're my lover
When we explore every part of each other
touching teasing
creating ecstatic fever in each other.
such sweet torment
I marvel that we can create together
such astonishing pleasure
With you I feel satisfied complete
wild and peaceful at the same time,
I've never felt this way with anyone else
You're my partner
You let me know that whatever life hands me
I'll have you on my side to help me.
I'm grateful for all that you give to me
all that you do for me
Together we can live life to the fullest,
I'm so glad we found each other
You're the joy of my life
and I'm so very happy to have you
as my Valentine!
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Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:1
If I speak in the tongues of men
or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
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This section is presented and dedicated to all the lovers and to our members to use for those "significant others" in their lives.
We truly wish much love and tranquility in your lives.
From our house, to yours with Love!
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I REALLY Care About You
I stopped at my bank last week to deposit a check. I could have used the ATM, but I am so glad that I didn’t because if I had, I probably would not have met Leo.
There were 3 or 4 people ahead of me in the line-up, so knowing that it would take a few minutes, I amused myself by simultaneously watching three different cooking and home improvement shows on three wall mounted TVs. There was no sound of course, so I was reading the captioning on each in turn. I was feeling relaxed, calm, not really focused on anything, just waiting my turn.
Moments passed. Then, directly in front of me, a tiny elder woman, who was now first in line, started toward one of the tellers stations. It was obvious she was intent on getting her business completed quickly, as she moved forward before the customer had quite finished and she had to step back again. Her backward movement caused my attention to be drawn to the customer directly ahead of us. He was facing the counter and from my position behind him, I could see only his white hair and the bright red team jacket that he wore.
I heard him say to the teller in a deep, strong voice… “Have a Great Day!” and the teller, to whom he was speaking replied; “You too Leo – see you next week!”
The impatient woman in front of me, again made her move, heading for the wicket Leo was leaving. So intent was she on her task, that she narrowly avoiding bumping into him. As she passed him Leo looked up, directly at me. His eyes seemed to be completely black, clear, bright and piercing and without a moments hesitation he said to me; “You, are an attractive young lady.” I was so surprised by his statement and struck by the genuine warmth and generosity that filled it, I blurted out “why, thank YOU sir” instantly reaching out to shake his hand, not even realizing that he was walking with a cane.
He managed to not drop the cane as he switched it to his left hand, taking my hand in his warm, dry and firm grip. His eyes never left mine as he spoke again; “I REALLY care about you!” he said. It happened so fast and as he let go of my hand I saw him reach out to the next person in line and say “I REALLY care about you too!”
It barely registered in my mind when I faintly heard the teller to my left say “I can help you here…” As Leo continued down the line greeting each in turn, I dragged myself away to complete my transaction with the young woman who had called me. I was so overcome by his innocent and sincere gift!
Simultaneously humbled and exalted by his innocence and compassion. He was like a gregarious 4 year old, who walks up to anyone and everyone, inviting them to play with him. I wondered to myself afterwards. How has he attained this state of grace? Imagine the wake of warm feelings he leaves behind him as he sails through this world, touching people for just a moment. He dropped a boulder into the placid ocean of my reality that is still rippling outward as you hear and hopefully feel, some of what Leo so unselfishly bequeathed to me, that I attempt to pass on to you.
I REALLY care about you!
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Man's Best ...
Continued...
Bill told him, and the man sighed, "We live in a tiny apartment, and my sister, without asking me, gave Naomi the puppy. After a week, the apartment smelled bad, and he kept going on the carpet, so I dropped him off at the animal shelter. I made a terrible mistake. Naomi cried all night. I went back looking for him the next day, but he was gone." ... bill looked at his sweaty palms and crossed his legs, while the three adults watched Kingston and Naomi play. Then Bill let out a mournful sigh, "Let her have the dog."
"I couldn't possibly do that," the father said, but Bill had already called for the girl. Naomi walked slowly, eyes wide with concern. Kingston ran up wagging his curly tail.
Bill smiled at the girl. "His name is Buddy? I didn't know, so I named him Kingston. Your daddy says that Buddy can come back to live in your house. Will that make you happy?"
Naomi bounced with impatient joy. Happy tears clouded her blue eyes when she hugged Bill and whispered, "Thank you."
Soon after, Kingston licked Bill's face goodbye, and followed Naomi up the ridge on the trail leading to his old home. Bill sighed and stared off into space, when Joan's hand cradled his fingers. She had never done that before. Bill's tentative gaze was quickly soothed by the promise in Joan's smile. "Kingston is gone, but I'll always be here."
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Peace of mind
Whenever I began to clean my bedroom my routine is to turn on my cousin's PS3 and play my music folder (which contains a great variety of artists, might I add) but just a moment ago I grabbed a seat to take a little break and as I was sitting, Chris Botti came on, the song, "Embraceable You" and it relaxed me and I had become so comfortable in my seat that my mind drifted away to a beautiful scene of a moment of mine back in time and right then I said to myself "This is what I love".
I love a peace of mind. I mean, you just can't buy that. I often find myself reveling in the many moments I'm blessed to receive that provides my environment to be at ease. And right now, I'm alone, the house has a wonderful aroma in the air, the music is playing, the door is ajar, the fan is on, the windows are open and the sun is shining so bright that it gives my place the perfect light. Aah!!! I love this feeling!
No one is calling me, knocking at my door and there is no loud hustle and bustle outside. Then I started thinking, Lord, what did I do to deserve this moment? Never mind, I just want to enjoy it. Thank you Lord for allowing me this peaceful feeling of freedom. I hope all that maybe reading this can soon indulge in a mental pleasure such as this. There is nothing like it. Wow!!!
Uh Oh, gotta go . . . someone is at my door. LOL!!! I guess it was fun while it lasted!
Until . . .
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Kane...
Unlikely Messenger
In other words, it became obvious to me, that even with my limited capacity for understanding at the time that Kane was a highly evolved spirit with great wisdom. He was the glue, the heart and soul of the Bouchards at the time. And even if folks weren’t aware of it on an earthly level, there was undeniable evidence of it in the hearts of everyone who came in contact with this child. It’s true. I’m a witness.
Kane demanded attention. But not because of his mobility challenges or other apparent shortcomings. In his mind, he had no challenges or shortcomings. The truth is, he received attention because he was alive and real and had so much to offer. At two he was a legitimate personality to be reckoned with.
Kane was and still is (through his continued influence) a bundle of warm and powerful energy sent to us all so we might learn that love transcends all things. Kane wasn’t aware of what the rest of the world perceived as handicaps. Not at all. Kane was here to engage us all on even ground… a fragile yet feisty baby sent to teach us all an important lesson. And at the age of two he did just that.
Unlike the whiney and inept society we’ve become where accountability is perceived as a shortcoming rather than a virtue, my mom’s family made it clear to Kane that he was okay and was never taught that he was a victim.
Go Speed Racer…
Kane mastered everything presented to him on his own level. For example, he was mobile because of the cart my uncle built for him. But Kane took that mobility to another level and became proficient at hairpin turns, leaving rubber on hardwood floors and wowing spectators with plenty of unexpected and spectacular maneuvers.
Kane wasn’t special because he was physically compromised and attracted pity. No way. Kane was just special. His personality demanded attention. He was the life of the party. It’s hard to think of a two-year old this way, but if you met this kid, you’d want him for a friend because he was alive, with so much to give.
Because of his weakened heart Kane left us not long after my visit. Although expected, his passing was certainly a somber occasion and one of reflection. Sometimes we look at God’s work and wonder why certain things are as they are. I know everyone who had ever met this beautiful boy had to wonder.
I spent only a couple of hours with this child, yet remember and still vividly feel his energy now. And that energy is as powerful today, 30 years after meeting this boy, as it was then. That’s special. Experiencing his influence over his surroundings was amazing. And his memory still touches me often.
I can only imagine that as the parent of a child like Kane one might be filled with anxiety and grief wondering what he or she might have done differently… any small detail that might have produced a different, more positive outcome. But I also believe that God carefully chooses us all for his work and that having a child like Kane is actually a privilege. I think the parents of such special babies are angels too, just as the babies are.
Infinite Wisdom
So I guess God knows what He’s doing. Kane touched everyone in a profound way. His ability to engage anyone along with his refusal to be different has been an inspiration to me. And though I’ve never spoken with his parents or anyone else close to him about this, I’m sure they all realize that he was sent here to show us that it’s all about love. I know my own life would not have been as rich without having met him.
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The Difference Between Rich And Poor
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
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What day is Valentine's Day this year?
St. Valentine's Day, happens this Tuesday on February 14. It's a day where people show their love and affection for another person - usually in the form of cards, flowers, gifts and messages, and yes it is only for lovers.
Who was St. Valentine?
The details are sketchy. Some say St Valentine was a priest from Rome who lived in the third century AD.
Emperor Claudius II had banned marriages, believing married men made bad soldiers and St Valentine is thought to have arranged marriages in secret.
He was imprisoned and sentenced to death for his crimes. There, St Valentine apparently fell in love with the jailer’s daughter and sent her a love letter signed ‘from your Valentine’ on February 14th, the day of his execution, as a goodbye.
The name 'Valentinus' is found in the Martyrologium Hieronymianum, a book which was compiled between 460 and 544.
What's Cupid got to do with it all?
Cupid is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. He is often portrayed as the son of the love goddess Venus and the war god Mars.
Cupid is also known in Latin also as Amor ("Love"). His Greek counterpart is Eros and he is just one of the ancient symbols associated with St Valentine’s Day, along with the shape of a heart, doves, and the colours red and pink.
People who fall in love are said to be ‘struck by Cupid’s arrow’.
It was during the middle of the 18th century that Valentine's started to take off in England, with lovers sending sweets and cards adorned with flowers, ribbons and images of cupids and birds.
Eventually huge numbers of printed cards replaced hand-written ones. In 1913, Hallmark Cards of Kansas City began mass producing Valentine's cards.
Now about a billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged every year and it's the second largest seasonal card sending time of the year.
What to write in a Valentine's card
What message will you be writing to your loved one this Valentine's Day?
If you're thinking of just putting "Happy Valentine's Day" and leaving it there - well, that's fine. Not all of us can be poets. But if you wanted to go for something a bit more elaborate, why not take inspiration from some of the greatest love letters ever written?
But why do some people leave anonymous cards?
This trend was started by the Victorians, who thought it was bad luck to sign Valentine's cards with their names.
The Victorians also started the rose-giving trend. They were the favourite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love, and have come to indicate passion and romance.
Nowadays, more than 50 million roses are given for Valentine's Day every year.
Every year, there will of course be some people who do not receive any cards, flowers or gifts on Valentine's Day.
One teenager solved that problem by buying 900 carnations and giving them to out to all the girls at his school.
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St. Valentine during his performing one of the secret marriages of his time.
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Man's Best Friend
Short and bald, with a paunch and thick-rimmed glasses, Bill was a quiet man who welcomed solitude and enjoyed the company of books. Social activities that most people found exciting, he considered tedious. The only girlfriend Bill had ever had, accused him of fearing intimacy in his quest for solitude, and warned that if he continued behaving that way, he would die "a lonely old man." In self-defense, Bill insisted that even with one million people surrounding his deathbed, the event of dying would nonetheless remain incomprehensibly lonely, but even that argument did not prevent the girlfriend from ending their romance.
After celebrating his fifty-ninth birthday, and after considerable thought and nail-biting, Bill decided to acquire a dog. Altruistic in intent, he opted to visit the animal shelter and save a dog from euthanasia, rather than buy one from a pet store.
Bill walked slowly down the shelter's corridor and passed sixteen cages with dogs. Musty scents of urine and sweaty fur tingled his nostrils. Loud barks echoed loudly off the walls.
At first Bill plugged his nose, but then resigned to the smell for the sake of covering his ears. Desperation lurked in the dogs' eyes and impending fate. Bill wished he could adopt all of them.
A puppy with light-brown fur, a wrinkly forehead, and a curly tail, caught his eye and helped push aside sad thoughts. The puppy's innocent dark eyes convinced Bill that he had found his match. He mused that an older dog, even if loving and friendly, would inevitably carry attachments to its former owner, and thus limit the new relationship from evolving into the unconditional love he yearned for.
"I'll take him," Bill told the caretaker.
The tall, mild-mannered caretaker handed over the puppy, which began licking Bill's face. Moved by the wet affection, and feeling guilty he hadn't adopted all the dogs, Bill donated $200 to the animal foundation.
The grateful caretaker shook his hand and asked, "What will you name him?"
Bill shrugged. "I don't know."
"How about Kingston?" the caretaker said.
"Of course," Bill said, no doubt in his mind that Kingston was the perfect name for the puppy.
In the coming three months, Bill cared for Kingston, talked to him, even taught him to fetch a ball, shake paws and roll over. They took walks to a nearby park, and even went on a few hikes with a group of dog owners' social club of sorts. Kingston was playful with fellow canines, and Bill enjoyed watching his pet achieve an enlightened dog-self.
Bill befriended a dog owner named Joan - a sixty-year-old woman with frizzy gray hair and gentle blue eyes, whose dog, Millie, a Collie, was greatly fond of Kingston.
Bill grew fond of Joan, but, concerned he might be imposing, lacked the courage to encourage companionship other than with the dogs.
One day Joan suggested they explore a new trail - a three-mile hike through a nature reserve, where the dogs could wander without a leash. The trail ended by a pond, where they retired to a bench, and snacked on tuna sandwiches and a fruit salad that Joan brought in a picnic basket.
They were taking pleasure in watching children feed the ducks, when a blonde girl with pigtails came running across the grass. "Buddy, Buddy!"
Kingston's ears perked up. He raced toward the girl and jumped on her with great joy.
Bill watched with delight, for Kingston behaved well with youngsters, when it dawned on him that his dog had responded to the name, Buddy.
Could it be Kingston carried memories of a former master? Bill wrung his hands with concern and was about to call on his pet, when a man with wavy blonde hair walked up to them and asked, "Excuse me, but where did you get this dog?"
Continued...
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Kane, A Lesson In Love
Long ago I learned a profound lesson about love. That lesson was powerful and it has stayed with me. The experience that held the message didn’t appear to be all that special – at least I didn’t think it was until much later, when I realized that it helped to shape who I’d become. The lesson came from a jumble of human emotions that included joy and remorse and tragedy and loyalty and sorrow and honor and duty and many other qualities good people have come to be known for.
I was in the Navy in 2000. After a couple of years as a Navy corpsman I had the opportunity to take the exam advance to the next rank. The only problem was, they were giving the exam at a time when I would be home on leave and unable to take it.
But I managed to get scheduled to take the test at Brunswick Naval Air Station in Brunswick, Maine, about 130 miles from where I planned on spending my time off in Massachusetts. What made this such an adventuresome proposition was that my mother was born and raised in Brunswick and her entire family lived there.
So on the day of the exam mom and I drove to her brother’s house in Brunswick. She was to spend the day there while I took my test only a few miles away. We arrived in Brunswick in the morning, several hours before my exam. I spent the free time visiting with my relatives.
Joline’s Son
It was during this short time that I came in contact with the personification of love. That would have been my second cousin, Kane. Kane was the two-year old son of Joline, my first cousin. I hadn’t seen much of Joline other than the times my family would drive to Maine in the 1990s for summer vacations.
But Joline had always lived vividly in my memories as the kid who, on a sunny day while visiting Harpswell beach in June of 1990, told me in earnest that if a sand crab were to latch onto my toe, I’d have to live with the critter forever because crabs were impossible to remove from your toes once they’d latched on. Jolene was a radiant kid who was full of life.
Kane
At a glance Kane was a sight. He’d been born with useless craggy sticks for legs and a heart that wasn’t up to the task of taking him through life. And on that morning in the spring of 1990, I witnessed firsthand the profound effect that Kane’s physical shortcomings had on his mother. But I also witnessed so much more than that.
I saw an extended family that embraced this special child. A family that wouldn’t allow Kane to know he was different. My uncle Ray, Joline’s father, had constructed a small padded cart just a few inches off the floor for his grandson to get around. Using his hands to move about, the cart allowed Kane to scoot from place to place, room to room just as everyone else was able to do.
And Kane worked that little cart like a master, stopping and turning on a dime. But that wasn’t even close to all of it. Kane was a vital component of the dynamics of the entire family. He was more than just a member of the family, he was the centerpiece.
This child was the driver, the motivator, and the initiator of much of the interaction. The world revolved around him, and rightly so. With an eternal grin, an infectious laugh and the joy of the angels in heaven, it was easy to see that even at the tender age of two, Kane was very much a people-person, and a natural at it.
With wisdom of an individual far beyond his short time with us, it was clear to me that this boy intuitively understood even the most complex of human motivation and emotions. And much later in my life, after recalling my visit many, many times, I came to realize that God had sent this child to help some of us who just weren’t getting what love was all about.
Continued...
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