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I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me, “what is your greatest weakness?”
I said, "I am too honest.”
He said, "I don't think that's a weakness.”
“Well I don't give a f\* what you think!”
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R² ⭐️ NOOHRA
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A man caught a goldfish,
"Let me go and I will grant you a wish," said the goldfish.
"But I don't need anything. I have a house, a summer house by the sea, cars, a cottage in the mountains, a yacht, more than enough money..... I only fish for pleasure" - he says.
"Come on, please, let me go, I'll fulfill any wish!"
"Well, ok!"- says the guy "From now on I wish that my dear wife and I always have an orgasm together!" and releases the fish!
"Voila granted!" says the little fish.
The man picked up his fishing equipment, put it in the car, and happily drove home.
On the way home he came twice!
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
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🔥 @MOTIVEG2 🔥
Follow 😇 Https://instagram.com/Motivation_Guaranteed
🎵💃🏻 @INDMUSIC 🕺🏻🎶
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
You & Your Impact. Make it worth it.
@MotiveG2
💬 2 Wives chatting in office :
Wife 1: I had a fine evening, how was Urs???
Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?
Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. 🍲 After dinner we walked for an hour.👫 When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale !
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you ?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.We walked home which took an hour & when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house !!!!!!
😳😛😜😝😄😅😂
MORAL: PRESENTATION DOES MATTER... NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS !!!
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
"Look what you did to my car" he yells. "You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"
"Oh my," says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money.
Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."
"Dolphins" the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son, and just as his son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need 10 grand right now or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp."
"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.
When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….
"For the last time Dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals.....
NOT dolphins!"
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
Aunty Z ki Chai.. bohot khoob for Americans. Lmao.. very interesting
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
Kya phod rahe ho..
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
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*Ladies discussing their sex lives during 🥶 winter in New Delhi*
Mrs. Gill - I notice that when I go down on Mr. Gill and give him a blowjob his balls are always cold.
Mrs. Khosla -- Mr. Khosla's balls are cold too, when I give Blowjob.
Mrs. Singh is shocked. How can you both do such thing? *It is so disgusting*.
Both explain to Mrs. Singh that a blowjob is the best way in getting him to buy Jewellery
Mrs. Singh agrees and says I will try tonight.
Next Day ... Both are shocked to see Mrs. Singh's face bruised and beaten black and blue.
What Happened they asked ??
Mrs. Singh -- Mr. Singh did this.
Ladies -- But why would he hit you when you are *sucking his lollipop*??
Mrs. Singh -- I don't know, I was giving him a great blowjob and all I said was - Your balls are also cold like Mr. Khosla and Mr. Gill...
🤣🥴🤦♂😓😷
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book that showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $ 2 million.
She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments.
The husband was so astounded he could barely speak.
Finally, he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you!'
That's when she shot him.....!
You know now, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut, especially when drunk..!
⚜️😂 @JUSTFORLAUGHGAGS 😂⚜️